KAY JEWELERS... MORE COMMERCIALS TO HATE!!
(since everyone loves to bitch and complain about me not putting capital letters, and correct punctuation in my blogs im going to attempt to do that... or maybe not. maybe you should learn how to read!)
OK. In the spirit of the dumbest hoeliday ever... Valentines Day, let's talk about why the Kay Jewelers commercials are so ridiculous and make every guy look like a complete douche and every chick an incompetent tard, who is unable to take care of herself.
I'm going to go through a couple of commercials and we can see how dumb they are and then I'll make fun of them! ha. Sounds like fun right?
#1
Chick: "Oh my gosh the storm is so big and scary"
Douche: "I'll show you big and scary chick. I'm going to show you love's embrace, by buying you a stupid necklace"
Chick: "Don't let go... ever"
Douche: thinking in his head "I'M GUNNA BUTTER YOUR BREEAAADDD"
#2
Douche: "I'm sorry my signing isn't very good yet. I'm a little slow. I've worked on a new one for you." (hand gesturing) "I have a little ding dong, so I'm making up for it by buying you this BULOVA watch"
Deaf Chick: "It's ok. I've never gotten a man anyway. Read my lips" (lips moving) "Merry Christmas, needle dick"
#3
Dad Douche: "Happy Valentines Day honey."
Mom Chick: " Oh I love it."
Stupid little daddy douche wanna be little douche: (thinking to himself) "I'm tryna get some booboo this Valentines Day too. I'mma make me a stupid Kay box and a stupid necklace"
Young dumb girl who thinks that a necklace is the best gift ever chick: "Oh little wanna be douche, you're so sweet. Now let me butter yoo breaddddd"
In the words of my half retarded twin brother... "EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH GAAAYY"
Kevin
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THROWBACK TO ALL OF THE SHOWS WE GREW UP WATCHING
CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING?im feeling a little nostalgic this morning and started thinking about some of those classic tv shows that i used to stay up and watch or get up early to watch and thought id make a really good list! these are all of the ones i could think of but if you have more good ones feel free to add to it. its fun too because you can get on youtube and watch a lot of these old episodes.
teenage mutant ninja turtles (totally, radical, pizza with anchovies)
are you afraid of the dark?
doug (patty mayonnaise!!)
rockos modern life (love the intro song)
duck tales
all that (awwww here it goeeessss!)
eureekas castle!!
captain planet (earth, fire, wind, water, heart!) i bet you didnt know lavar burton was earth!! (but dont take my word for it ha)
chip n dale rescue rangers
keenan and kel
salute your shorts
full house
pee wees playhouse (a lot of dirty things going in that house, just go back and watch some episodes)
(yes thats lawrence fishburn)
bobbys world (dontcha know bobbyy!!)
darkwing duck (i was obsessed)
saved by the bell (do the sprain!)
ren and stimpy (i loved the close up pics) YOOU IDDDIIOTTT!!
boy meets world
dexters laboratory
legends of the hidden temple
clarissa explains it all (huge crush on melissa joan hart)
tale spin
hey dude
the fresh prince of bel air (if you cant sing the entire intro then you are certainly whitie haha)
swat kats the radical squadron
the secret world of alex mack (tell me it wouldnt be cool to morf into liquid)
where in the world is carmen san diego? (great game for the old apple computer too)
w wild and crazy kidddsss!
double dare
ed, edd, n eddy
macgyver (love the mullet)
step by step
quantum leap
what would you do?
celebrity death match!!
american gladiators ( look up zap!)
GUTS!!
whos the boss?
ghost writer
the addams family
tom and jerry
supermarket sweep!!!!!!!!!
matlock
johnny quest (everyone wanted to be johnny... just not HODGY haha)
the flintstones
prostars (if you dont remember that one you have to look it up!bo jackson, michael jordan, wayne gretsky)
the jerry springer show (i may or may not still like this show)
i hope you guys get a kick out of seeing these pics too.
kevin
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CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING?
i really cant stand the chick FLO from progressive. is it necessary to have the girl in every commercial that they come up with? is the marketing team for progressive inept at coming up with other ideas? im going to make a list of the most annoying things about these stupid commercials.
1. stupid background music (makes me want to drown myself)
2. the price gun (LLLAAA, yeah we're the only ones that do!!)
3. calculator humor (HELLO) gotta love the calculator humor ( i may or may not have done that when i was in elementary school, just saying)
4. 400 vtwin (there is no way you can make FLO look cool in any way with a motorcycle)
here is the extra punishment that the xm gods have bestowed upon me...
as if it wasnt bad enough seeing her way to much on tv, i get to HEAR her and the stupid song on espnradio when im riding in the car. im sorry, i want to hear colin cowherd, mike and mike, or scott van pelt, not FLO.
espn.... get your act together, my ears are bleeding and i may run off the road and die one day bc i cant take it anymore. so for my safety and those who feel the same, please get rid of FLO and progressive.
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Pharmaceutical commercials
Okay people... got a problem that we need to address. We believe in freedom in this country a great and novel idea. However their are some limitations that we put on this freedom which I agree with you can't go streaking through the park on a whim. You can't get a firearm if your a convicted felon. You do steroids to increase your academic performance(unless your making your owner a ton of money). Well we need to add one to the list. There is no way in hell that Pharmaceutical companies should ever...ever....ever be allowed to make commercials.I am already positive that 99.9% of Americans agree with idea but I'll continue anyway and break it down:
1. We are one of two countries in the world that allow this along with New Zealand (not exactly the best company)
2. Pharmaceutical companies spend tens of billions of dollars advertising drugs. Which you may say is within their right, which is true however this increases the drugs cost. So you think no big deal I got insurance well guess what. The cost rises to your employer and they up and get rid of health insurance, or they go to the absolute horrible plan.
3. Your not a fucking doctor you never went to medical school you have no idea what this drugs do, or if they even fucking work, for your condition.
4. Doctors are now pressured to recommend certain drugs from both the companies and the patients, a good doctor will tell you frankly what the deal is, a bad one will give you everything you want to keep your uninformed dumb ass happy.
5. Have you actually seen the advertisements they are horrible. They have some old ass guy talking about talking about sexual interaction (I think we all know, have a supermodel try to sell it to me might work better)
6. Side effects have you heard some of the symptoms Vomiting, headaches cramps, mood swings, gambling urges(no bullshit this is one, it might be fun), erections that last longer than four hours (sweet), and my favorite gas with oily discharge (who was the guy that came up with that one very professional medical lingo)
7. Now companies spend more time making us drugs that prevent baldness, give us bonners, etc. instead of developing shit that could save our life one day.
Drew
